Love And Pain
by Elric-Chan
Summary: First love is always painful. Ritsuka's about to find that out the hard way. [SoubixRitsuka] [dedicated to Earthlight]
1. First Love

**Disclaimer: It's heartbreaking, but Loveless does not belong to me.**

**This story is dedicated to Earthlight.**

**First off, I should say that this is something I will take my time on, and you can count on it being well written and well thought out.**

**I have another story, Forced, which leaves off right where Soubi and Ritsuka are about to... well, you know.**

**Forced is too long to be a oneshot, but it's not a chapter story. I had the idea for this story a while ago, and it does go into detail about Ritsuka's life after losing his ears to Soubi.**

**So, sit back, and enjoy the ride!**

**LOVELESSLOVELESSLOVELESSLOVELESSLOVELESSLOVELESS**

"Ritsuka?"

Soubi's fingers slipped tenderly through Ritsuka's hair, and they met no obstacle. Soubi smiled to himself, letting his breath out in a moan, and hugged Ritsuka closer to him.

The ears were gone.

XXX

_**LOVE AND PAIN**_

XXX

It had been a long night. Soubi was exhausted, both physically and mentally. No persuasion had been needed to get Ritsuka to sleep with him, but he was drained from having to talk the boy down, assuring him he would be just fine, and that losing his ears did not make him a social reject.

And although he had been careful not to hurt him in the least bit, he was tired from doing just that: being meticulously gentle.

He _was_ gentle, it was in his nature, but nothing could compare to how much he wanted to please Ritsuka. To pleasure him fell in much the same category, and Soubi made it a priority to make the most important moment of Ritsuka's life also the most special one.

There _was_ pain, of course. That was ultimately inevitable, and yet somehow, Soubi couldn't relinquish the sensation of Ritsuka's tears staining his chest. He knew that Ritsuka would hurt, there was no getting around it. But he felt that he had done what was right. Ritsuka belonged to him, and so therefore his ears did as well.

And Soubi knew he would miss that tail. Its perky swish as Ritsuka walked, atrracting Soubi's eyes to it no matter what, yes, that would be missed.

XXX

Ritsuka could remember. His body was in a haze, his mind reeling, and yet nothing mattered because he was here with Soubi. Here with Soubi holding him close.

_"Soubi..."_

_"Shh," Soubi had said, bringing his lips to Ritsuka's._

_Ritsuka, feeling Soubi's teeth nipping at his tongue, vividly remembered what Soubi had once told him: that he thought it might feel nice to have your tongue bitten._

_And he was sure as hell right._

The love had progressed from there, until finally Ritsuka was so worn out that he couldn't take anymore, and forced Soubi out of his body. His fighter gave up willingly, allowing Ritsuka to rest on him while he slipped away into a hazy world of post-sex nothingness. Soubi watched as Ritsuka's eyes dimmed, beginning to regulate his breathing, and stroked the soft brown hair.

Ritsuka was fragile. He knew that. He'd always known that, ever since the first sun-kissed moment when he'd laid his eyes on the boy. But all fragile things have to break sometime, and he'd just broken Ritsuka.

And he couldn't have been happier. Because that's the beauty of something broken, it can be fixed. Soubi couldn't bring his ears back, but he could see to it that Ritsuka would enjoy this new experience.

XXX

"Mmm... Soubi?"

Ritsuka sat up, rubbing his eyes, a blurry Soubi coming into focus before him. The fuzzy figure came toward him, and he felt a warm hand touch his face. Then warm lips against his own. He welcomed the kiss, marveling at how incredibly needy for contact he'd become in the past twelve hours.

"Come on, now, Ritsuka, you can't go to school like that."

Ritsuka was clad in Soubi's shirt, which he realized was why Soubi was shirtless himself. With a shock, the word school sank into his mind like a stone.

"School?" he asked, his voice positively dripping with fear. "I... I can't... go... like this..."

"Why not?" Soubi asked, handing an outfit to Ritsuka. "You look fine, beautiful as ever. I love you."

"You know why..." Ritsuka said, ducking his head as a blush flared across his cheeks. "You... took my ears."

"So I did," Soubi grinned. "It's fine, Ritsuka... unless you're embarrassed of me?"

"No, no, it's not that!" Risuka said, looking back up quickly. "It's just... I'm the only one..."

"There's nothing wrong with that, not as long as I love you."

And Ritsuka remembered something he had said once, after one of their particularly sweet and passionate kisses.

_"How does that make you feel?_

He smiled.

_"Like something good?"_

_"Or something tainted?"_

XXX

As Ritsuka descended the stairs with Soubi at his side, he suddenly became aware of a problem he would soon have to face, one much bigger than facing his classmates, one he would rather step in front of a firing squad than face: his mother.

The word sent chills down his spine, and tears came to the corners of his eyes; he was so scared. Soubi squeezed his hand, looking through the doorway at the back of her ominous head.

"M-mom?"

"Oh, Ritsuka," she said, deciding that he was her son today. "I'm making something special for di- _Ritsuka!"_

He flinched.

She had seen.

"Where... where... where are your ears?" She looked at him, clearly stricken. Normally his tail would have twisted meekly around his legs, his ears would have lain flat on his head. But it was the lack thereof of ears and tail that had put him into the situation, so he stood stock-still, his dark eyes wide and apprehensive.

As she sputtered, his mother spotted Soubi lurking behind the corner.

_"You..."_ she hissed, for she had seen Soubi before, had even seen him kiss Ritsuka once. And now even Soubi feared her rage. As her hand felt for a kitchen knife, he picked Ritsuka up, turned tail, and ran.

"Safer at my place, you think?" he asked, setting Ritsuka down safely two blocks away. Ritsuka nodded.

"We'll go and sneak back in after school to get your things," Soubi said, running a hand through his hair and kissing Ritsuka softly again. "Now let's go."

**LOVELESSLOVELESSLOVELESSLOVELESSLOVELESSLOVELESS**

**So, chapter 2 should be coming your way pretty soon. Maybe tomorrow, in fact. I have a con to go to in about two weeks (March 30, 31, and April 1), so there won't be any uploading on that weekend. The con is called Anime Punch!, and let me know if any of you are going, cause I'll hope to see you there.**

**Stay tuned for more Loveless!**


	2. Something Tainted

**Disclaimer: This thing you're reading is called not owning Loveless.**

**Here's the second chapter, as promised, and I pologize for all the angsty stuff that this may contain.**

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Ritsuka couldn't do it.

He sobbed. He sobbed his heart out into Soubi's shoulder, under the shade of a blossoming sakura tree. Everything poured out of him. Everything. The events of the previous night, his fear of his mother, his complete terror at having to face the school, everything. He was scared, confused, shocked, embarrassed... and in love... all at the same time.

Soubi let him cry. He understood all too well what Ritsuka was feeling. He had expected nothing less, after a night of losing his ears. It takes a toll on the mind, and Ritsuka was more than simply frightened. He was confused. Confused at the world. Confused at Soubi, at himself, and everything in between.

And so he let him cry, glad to be the shoulder Ritsuka chose.

Taking a shuddering breath, Ritsuka dried his tears after a while, and straightened up with a resigned look on his face.

"I'm... going to school now."

Soubi smiled at him, letting Ritsuka out into the open.

"I love you."

XXX

Shocked was a much too insignificant word to describe the reactions of Ritsuka's classmates. The were completely dumbstruck.

Ritsuka walked with his head hung, a blush plastered permanently to his face. He expected the questions to come flying, and he was hit with a wave of them before he had taken his seat.

"Who's the lucky chica, eh, Aoyagi?" A boy elbowed him playfully in the side.

This started a search. A search for a girl who was also earless that had not been before. Naturally, Yuiko was the first to be investigated, by a more-than-just-concerned Yayoi, but she was having a time dealing with the situation enough herself.

After a while, the excitement had gone out of the chatter.

"Hey, Aoyagi, it wasn't... it wasn't a man, was it?" The joking was gone from the voice. Ritsuka sat silently, his mind racing too fast to take in much of what they said, until he realized that the boys were gone, and that Yuiko had taken their place.

"Is was Soubi-san, wasn't it?" she asked quietly. Ritsuka's indigo eyes met hers in a flash. They couldn't help but linger on her ears, the ears that still remained. She was... clean. Innocent.

And he was filthy.

Yuiko stood up and left without a word, returning to her seat, leaving Ritsuka to think.

He was... dirty, unclean. Any trace of innocence he might have had was gone. Soubi's words came back to him.

Does it make you feel like something tainted?

_Something tainted..._

And now the awkwardness was finally beginning to sink in. Ritsuka had finally grasped the fact that he really had lost his ears... to Soubi... to Agatsuma Soubi. Through his morning haze, he could deal with Soubi, but... there was no way he could face him now.

By the end of the day, he was certain that he was uncertain about how he felt for Soubi. What could he do? Soubi had become his eternal companion, and Ritsuka was... alright with that. He'd conceded to let Soubi take his ears. There had been no force. And Soubi wouldn't have used force, anyway, if Ritsuka hadn't wanted him to do it.

The bell sounded, and Ritsuka rose to leave, knowing that Soubi would be dutifully waiting outside. He stopped at the window, staring at the back of Soubi's head, watching a thin trail of smoke arise from his mouth.

He jumped as he felt a hand touch his shoulder. It was Shinonome-sensei.

"It was him, wasn't it, Ritsuka-kun?" she said, also looking at Soubi. "That man."

"I... I can't go to him, sensei."

"Did he..." she said, panic touching her tone. "Did he force you?"

"No!" Ritsuka said, shaking his head. "Nothing like that."

"Then..."

"I have to go, sensei!"

He turned and ran down the hall, deciding that he would rather face Soubi than his teacher. He ran outside, breathing a deep breath of air, and dashed boldly around the corner.

He stopped several feet away from his target, watching as Soubi looked up.

So much was exchanged in that moment. As the wind began to ripple through Ritsuka's hair, setting it asway, he stood staring at Soubi with that same resigned look, never breaking his gaze. Soubi pushed his body away from the wall on which he had been leaning, and walked slowly, painstakingly, to Ritsuka.

He pulled him into an embrace, dropping his cigarette and crushing it under the heel of his shoe. He leaned in for a tentative kiss, and Ritsuka suddenly remembered that he would now be staying with Soubi. His body tensed. He could only imagine what would happen now that they would be alone together every night.

What would happen tonight?

Would Soubi do it again?

Would Ritsuka let him?

He was already tainted as it was.

_Something tainted..._


	3. We Are One

**Disclaimer: If I owned Loveless, I would not be writing Loveless fanfiction. I could just make it happen.**

**Despite what you may be thinking, the title of this chapter is not a dirty reference. I actually got it from the movie _"Lion King II: Simba's Pride". _I loved that movie as a child, and just watched it the other day. There is a song called "We Are One", and it is referring to the fact that all the animals in the wild were part of the big circle of life and were all connected and stuff.**

**So that's what this chapter means. Yeah.**

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Ritsuka bowed his head against Soubi's lips, blocking his invitation for a kiss. He was agitated, but than anything, scared.

XXX

Sneaking into his room was a relatively easy affair. He had gone through his window, as Soubi had done so many times in the past. He took only what he needed, and then he was gone again, slipping around a backstreet to Soubi's apartment. The whole time, his mind was racing, his ears not absorbing Soubi's pointless prattle. He wanted more than anything to hear Soubi's voice, but at the same time, wanted to hear anything but.

That same voice had controlled him the night before, held him spellbound while its owner had siphoned away his innocence. He felt empty without the familiar swish of his tail, or the comforting feel of his ears turning, perking, or lying flat on his head.

"You know, Ritsuka," the voice said, his name penetrating through the fog. "I miss it, too."

"Huh?"

"Your innocence."

Ritsuka blushed, and Soubi stooped down in front of him in the alleyway.

"Don't you think I miss those cute ears of yours? That seductive tail always trailing behind you? Mm?"

He brushed his lips aginst Ritsuka's cheek.

"Then..." Ritsuka said, feeling the tears smarting in the corners of his eyes, "Then why'd you take them?"

"Becuase I love you more than I'll ever miss seeing your ears and tail."

Ritsuka let the tears flow freely from his eyes, accepting Soubi's arms as they wrapped around him. He buried his face in Soubi's chest, feeling completely vulnerable and yet safe with his fighter.

"Yes," Soubi said, stroking Ritsuka's hair, still relishing the fact that he could do it without hinderance. "I miss it. You seem different now. I loved your childlike appeal."

He paused.

"You were innocent. And I took that away."

He stared down at Ritsuka's sobbing form.

"Did I hurt you, Ritsuka?" he asked quietly. He'd asked Ritsuka the night before, but the boy had been too weak and too tired to answer.

"No." came the muffled reply. "It wasn't... that bad."

"I'm glad to hear it." Soubi smiled, hugging Ritsuka closer.

"You're not... going to... tonight... we're not going to..."

Soubi didn't answer.

XXX

Ritsuka sat at the table, picking at his food with a pair of Soubi's chopsticks. Soubi was a good cook, but he had found that he had no appetite. He watched Soubi remove his apron.

"Eat, Ritsuka, you need to."

"I...can't."

Soubi sighed. He knew that Ritsuka would recover from his shock, in time.

He took the seat next to Ritsuka.

"You can."

"No!" Soubi jumped as Ritsuka's fist hit the table. He watched as the brunette rose to his feet.

"Dammit, Soubi, how the hell can you be so calm?! We... we just had sex, for God's sake! What the... hell..."

He burst out crying again, and Soubi caught him as he stumbled.

"Shh..." he whispered, and this time he was allowed to kiss Ritsuka. The taste of warm tears mixed with the kiss as Soubi's tongue plundered over Ritsuka's, his hands coming to meet the brown hair. Ritsuka allowed himself to be pulled deeper into the kiss, until he could feel Soubi's hands roaming his chest, the tongue a writhing monster in his mouth. He pulled away, turned away, and immediately felt Soubi's body behind him.

"Why, Soubi? Why is this happening?"

Soubi answered with a kiss on Ritsuka's neck, feeling the skin flinch away.

"Soubi... are we going to... to.. have sex again tonight?"

"Not if you don't want to."

"I... I do want to. But I don't want to."

"I understand. Why you you just come along with me to bed and we'll see what happens from there?"

XXX

Something happened, alright. It was inevitable from the moment they lay down on the soft bed. It was different than Ritsuka's bed from the previous night. Soubi's was smaller, and therefore forced them to sleep cuddled together. Ritsuka felt a curious hand trailing along his leg, and he accepted a kiss. Things went from there, until Ritsuka was pinned down by Soubi's sweating body, screaming his fighter's name with a lustful passion in his voice.

His fingernails dug into Soubi's back with each thrust the man took. Soubi had failed to find the special spot that would induce the pleasure in Ritsuka, and he knew that right now, he was only causing him pain. When Ritsuka's scream rose out, dripping with desire, Soubi knew he'd found it, and finished quickly, taking care not to empty himself inside the fragile body.

He slipped to the side, placing his hand lightly under Ritsuka's chin.

"Okay, Ritsuka?"

"Better than okay..." Ritsuka gasped. " That was... wonderful."

Soubi smiled, tears streaming down his own cheeks.

"That's good, Ritsuka," he said, in a voice filled with emotion. "That's just what I wanted to hear."

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**A/N: Nope, it's not done yet! Stay tuned for another chapter!**


	4. Cat Ears

**Disclaimer: This story is mine. And... -checks- That's about it. Loveless is not mine.**

**Gah, so long since I've updated! Stay with me guys, I apologize, really I do. I've had a lot going on (in between uploading other fics), and to be honest, I just wasn't getting hit with a lot of inspiration for this chapter.**

**This chapter is dedicated to _endiahna_, who showed a great deal of enthusiasm for wanting to read further chapters. She's (forgive me, endiahna, if you're a boy) a major part of the reason this chapter's here as early as it is.**

**Personally, with this chapter and the fake ears and all, it's something I've always said. In the Loveless world, you can hide if you _aren't_ a virgin, but you can't hide it if you _are_. So much for all the guys who like to go around saying "Yeah, I score every night because I'm a big man!" when they've actually never done anything. They'd still have their ears.**

**Unless they cut them off or something... **

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Ritsuka lay in Soubi's bed, which was nothing more than a mattress right now. The sheets had been stripped off the previous night. Ritsuka held a pillow that smelled overpoweringly like Soubi clenched in his arms, his face buried in it. Soubi was gone at the moment, to the store, Ritsuka assumed.

He couldn't stop his mind from reeling.

Was he wrong? Was what he and Soubi were doing right? They'd done it _again_. And Ritsuka didn't know if he should.

He loved Soubi, he knew he did, or else he wouldn't have given his ears up to the man. But now... it was almost as if he were starting to regret it. Losing his ears at his age was certainly not something he was proud of, not when he had to go to a school where everyone, even his teacher, still had ears.

He had stopped talking to people at school. He hadn't seen his mother in days. Not that he was feeling homesick. He'd rather stay with Soubi and have the very life pounded out of him each and every night than go back to her.

He heard the door open downstairs, and felt the color rise in his cheeks. He didn't want to see Soubi... but he wanted to see him so badly at the same time. The bedroom door opened, bringing a wave of fresh air with Soubi. Ritsuka pressed his face closer to the pillow. He heard Soubi chuckle as he sat down next to him.

"Here, Ritsuka."

Ritsuka looked bashfully up at Soubi, who was holding a pair of ears in his hand. His eyes widened, and he forgot his embarrassment.

"S-Soubi?"

"Ritsuka. You're... going to need these." Soubi looked away. "You're going back to your mother."

"No!" Ritsuka sat up straighter, pulling Soubi around to face him. "Why?"

"You have to, Ritsuka." Soubi said softly. "Look at you. Look at what I've done to you."

Ritsuka blushed. "You... haven't done anything to me!"

"Haven't I?"

"Well... it hasn't... bothered me! I'm still the same as I was before! Just... without ears..."

"Ritsuka." Soubi lifted the boy's chin in his fingers. "I love you."

"Soubi..."

"I... shouldn't have lost control last night. I... we... shouldn't have..."

"But Soubi!"

"Even now..." Soubi's eyes scorched into Ritsuka's. "I... I'm finding it hard to hold back."

Ritsuka blushed and looked down. "Please... don't send me back."

Soubi didn't answer. He pulled Ritsuka to him, holding his chin as he slipped the velvet black ears onto his head. He leaned back and smiled, pushing Ritsuka up toward the mirror. Ritsuka looked at his reflection, his breath catching. He'd always heard about fake ears, but these looked so... real on him. It was as if... he'd never...

"It looks perfect, Ritsuka. Your mother will never know."

"I... I don't want them," Ritsuka said quietly, reaching up a hand to pull them off. Soubi stopped him, his fingers lacing with the smaller ones. He held the hand to his lips and placed a soft kiss on it.

"Why, Ritsuka..." he said, hurt touching his voice. "Do you wish... that we'd never..."

"No!" Ritsuka looked wildly up at Soubi. "I don't wish that at all! I love you! I just wish..." His eyes flooded with tears again, and he sank into Soubi's warm chest, wanting to cry and never stop. Soubi ran a hand comfortingly through Ritsuka's hair, his body tingling as he felt the familiar ears sweep by his fingers. Ritsuka clutched Soubi's shirt tightly, and finally looked back up. Soubi wiped away the remnant tears still shimmering on the boy's cheeks with a delicate hand.

"I'll keep them."

"That's good." Soubi leaned down to claim Ritsuka's lips in another soft, passionate kiss. Ritsuka melted into the moment, feeling himself being pulled into the blissful haze that was Soubi's warmth.

"But I'm not going back," Ritsuka said when Soubi pulled away. "I'll just let her see me with my ears, and I'll tell her I'm going to stay with you for a little while. She'll think everything's fine."

"Are you sure?"

Ritsuka held onto Soubi, burying his face in the man's shoulder.

"Yes," he breathed. "She's been waiting for Ritsuka to return for a few years now."

XXX

"Mom?" Ritsuka stepped nervously into his kitchen, leaving Soubi waiting outside. His fake tail swished behind him, his ears set firmly on the top of his head. He saw his mother walk into the room, and stop.

"R-Ritsuka?"

"Yeah, Mom... it's me. I'm back."

"Ritsuka!" Misaki ran forward, embracing her son, but he stood quietly. He only wanted it to be over. "You're finally back... my Ritsuka... where have you been?"

"I've... been gone, Mom." He knew she wasn't talking about him. She was talking about the real "Ritsuka".

"Ma'am?" Soubi stepped into the kitchen, bowing lightly to Misaki. He stopped a few feet from Ritsuka's side.

"Mom," Ritsuka said brightly, feigning every minute of his happy charade. "This is Agatsuma Soubi. He's my friend." He thought he saw Soubi's lips turn up in a smirk at the word "friend", but he continued anyway.

"I'm going to stay with him for a while. Kinda like a sleepover."

"But, Ritsuka..." Misaki said. "Why don't you want to be here?"

"I just want to be with my friends for a while, okay?"

Misaki looked from Soubi to Ritsuka, and finally nodded with a smile.

"Have fun, Ritsuka!" she said, hugging him one last time, and placing a kiss between his ears. "Come home soon!"

"Yeah," Ritsuka said, thinking that he'd probably never come back. "Goodbye, Mom."

He turned around and walked out the door with Soubi, who bowed one last time to Misaki. He followed Ritsuka out the door, who had already disappeared around a corner and pulled his ears off.

Soubi caught him up for another kiss, and this time, Ritsuka returned it with fierce passion.

"Run away with me, Soubi," he breathed onto the man's lips.

"What?"

"Let's run away. Just you and me."

**T.B.C...**

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**Heh heh cliffhanger! And thank you to all of my lovely reviewers! Please review some more!**


	5. Gonna Run Away

**Disclaimer: I don't own Loveless. -sighs- Obviously.**

**This chapter is dedicated to _Decorinne_ for her endless support of this story.**

**Yay just got Loveless volume 5! It's been a month since it's been out, and I hadn't gotten to go and get it. And now I've got it!**

**-throws party-**

**Anyway... moving on... this chapter contains a bit stronger innuendo than the other chapters. That means reader discretion is advised. There's no explicit sex, although that may come later on and I may have to change the rating. I got the title of this chapter from a Wolf's Rain avatar that had Kiba (for those of you who have seen Wolf's Rain, you'll know who that it, if not, he's the main white wolf) on it, running in front of a moon. It said, "Gonna Run Away".**

**Of course this story has nothing to do with Wolf's Rain (unless you count that they both have sexy bishies), I just liked the title. And Ritsuka _does_ want to run away, you know?**

**SRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSR**

"Run away with me, Soubi," Ritsuka repeated, passion burning in his fiery eyes.

Soubi held him close, looking down the dark alley over Ritsuka's head. The boy wasn't making sense.

"Ritsuka, you know we can't do that."

"Why not?" Ritsuka pulled away from Soubi, still looking determined. "As long as it's us... as long as we're together... why does it matter?"

"We can't just leave everything behind."

"What's there to leave?" Ritsuka demanded, pushing his silken hair out of his eyes. "The only thing I have left is you!"

"What about Yuiko-chan?" Soubi folded his arms over his chest.

"I can tell her and Yayoi goodbye! And besides..." he said, the color rising in his face as he lowered his head to stare at the ground. "She hates me now... for not having ears."

Soubi let his breath out with an amused sigh. "She doesn't hate you. Not for that, anyway."

Ritsuka turned to the alley wall. He hated how Soubi could speak so coolly about him not having having ears, when he had been the one who took them. But he loved Soubi. He wanted nothing but Soubi, to be with him for always.

"Soubi," he said, his voice taking on a different tone. "Do this for me..."

He grasped Soubi's shirt in both of his hands and brought his lips up to meet the older one's. He drew himself into that kiss, feeling Soubi, feeling the two of them together. His tongue darted out to lick Soubi's lips, and Soubi pulled him up into his arms. As they parted, Soubi saw the blush that he loved so much shimmering on Ritsuka's cheeks, that same look shining in Ritsuka's eyes.

_"Soubi... I don't like it when you kiss me."_

_Ritsuka spoke blatantly, as he pushed Soubi away._

_"I don't like it," he repeated, turning his head as crimson flooded his face. "I don't like your lips on mine, your... tongue... in my mouth... I don't like it..."_

_"But I love you, Ritsuka."_

_"I don't like it..."_

Soubi stared into Ritsuka's dark eyes, wondering what had happened to change that. Ritsuka loved him now.

"I love it..." Ritsuka murmured, still held in the air at Soubi's face. He rested his forehead on Soubi's. "I love this feeling... your warmth... I love the tingle I get when I kiss you..."

"Ritsuka..."

"Soubi... run away with me, please..." Ritsuka lowered himself to the ground, still clutching Soubi's shirt. "I'll do anything for you... if you do this for me..."

"Ritsuka... I don't know..."

"Right here in the alley." Ritsuka, emboldened, dropped to his knees in front of Soubi, closing his eyes. "We can... you can... do whatever you like to me... right here in the alley."

"What?" Pink flushed onto Soubi's cheeks as he stared down at Ritsuka.

"I said anything," Ritsuka said, the lustful hardness coming back into his voice. "I'll do this for you."

"Ritsuka, I..."

Ritsuka's fingers rose to pull at the zipper of Soubi's pants, and he licked his lips. Soubi swallowed hard. He wanted this, he wanted Ritsuka so badly. But there were so many reasons why he couldn't do this. Not here... in this alley, for one. And if he gave in to Ritsuka, then he knew the boy would only want to run away even more.

"Ah..." Soubi felt Ritsuka's hands on his thighs, gripping them tightly. Ritsuka had seen Soubi's manhood before, but never... never this close... and never in_ this_ way. He could see that Soubi was hard, that HE was making Soubi hard, and he blushed deeply. He lowered his head.

"Scared... Ritsuka?" Soubi said from far off, his voice rough and strained.

"I... I... just don't..." Ritsuka covered his face in his hands, tears starting in his eyes. "I want to be with you... and I can't make you go with me... I thought I could..."

"Ritsuka..." Soubi said, zipping his pants and crouching down to hold him. "You don't have to resort to sex to convince me of anything. I'll listen to you.."

"You won't!" Ritsuka said, lifting his head to stare at Soubi with tear-filled eyes. "You won't... go with me..."

"Ritsuka, we don't have to run away to be together. We'll always be together."

"But there are so many things holding us back!" Ritsuka shouted. "I need to get away, to just be with you, only you..."

"But you are with me. You'll always be."

"Soubi..."

They kissed again, gently and lovingly this time. Ritsuka wanted to feel Soubi. Something strong was boiling inside of him, a heat pulsing through his body at Soubi's touch as fingers ran through his hair.

"Soubi... I want to feel you..." he whispered onto Soubi's lips.

"Let's go home." Soubi said, helping Ritsuka to his feet, but Ritsuka held on to him tightly.

"No..." Ritsuka whimpered. "I want you... it hurts..."

"Hurts? Ritsuka... what's wrong?" Soubi looked at him in concern.

"I feel so hot... and..." Ritsuka blushed as he took a deep breath and held himself against Soubi. He sighed in content as Soubi's arms wrapped around him again. Soubi drew his breath in sharply as he felt Ritsuka pressed to him. The "pain" Ritsuka had been talking about... he was... _hard_. Ritsuka was...

"Ritsuka... what say we..."

Ritsuka looked at him, passion still brimming in his eyes. "Soubi..."

"Do you feel up to it?"

"Don't talk about it," Ritsuka mumbled into Soubi's neck. "Just take me at home."

"_At_ home?" Soubi's lips turned up in a smile as he thought he realized what Ritsuka had just said. "Don't you mean... take me home?"

"You heard me."

"Is that an order?"

Ritsuka pulled away from Soubi, blushing and furious, his eyes snapping.

"Do you want me or not?!"

Soubi couldn't argue with a horny Ritsuka. Fingers laced, they ran back to his house, and as soon as the door was shut, he pushed the boy up against it, lips claiming his. Ritsuka moaned as Soubi held him to the door, lips fluttering over his pulse.

"Bed... now..." Soubi panted, sweat slipping down his forehead. Ritsuka shook his head.

"Here. Now. I want it right now." Ritsuka was burning up, feeling relief as Soubi hungrily stripped the shirt from his small frame, mouth lowering to suck on his chest. Ritsuka moaned again, louder, his hands fisting in Soubi's hair as he pressed the man's head closer to him. Soubi's tongue traced a thin line of saliva over his skin.

"Soubi... I love you..."

"I love you... Ritsuka..."

**T.B.C...**

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**Ooh... now I feel all tingly lol. So... I may continue this little scene in the next chapter, or I may just make it happen and start with the events of after. The point is, they have sex. Again. Heh.**

**If anyone thinks I'm making them do each other too much, then tell me and I'll tone it down a little. I find it passionate and it brings them closer together. That's my fangirl excuse, anyway.**

**I haven't decided whether he should stick with the running away idea or not. Eh... more to come soon... hopefully.**

**Please review. I'm really liking where this is going. I'd love to hear what you think!**


	6. Passion At Dusk

**Disclaimer: Loveless is not mine. What is mine is five volumes of the manga, a shirt, a laptop full of pictures, and undying fangirlistic love.**

**This chapter is dedicated to _Thura Huodae_ for her support of more smut. I'm surprised I updated so quickly, but I'm sure no one's complaining! I just wanted to get the smex out of the way... which by the way, means that the rating is now up to M. I don't want this fic to get deleted, so I have to put the proper rating on it. Besides, I don't want to be responsible for ruining some young teenager's mind. Hey, I'm a young teenager, too (16, zomg), but hell, my mind's already shot out of the ballpark. Or should I yaoipark.**

**This chapter is supposed to (emphasis on supposed to) show the true feelings and the true love that makes up Soubi and Ritsuka's relationship, so expect a lot of sappy (yet important) dialogue. Don't worry, the smex is at the beginning, so those of you who are like me don't have to scroll down looking for it. Yes, I do do that. -smiles-**

* * *

Ritsuka's arms were tangled around Soubi's neck, pushing the man closer to his body. As he had said before, skin got in the way. He would give anything for the two of them to merge completely, to truly be together. But he knew they couldn't.

And so this would suffice.

"Ritsuka." Soubi's voice was muffled into Ritsuka's chest, but it was the way he said it, that Ritsuka knew. He tightened his grip on Soubi's neck, and was lifted into the air. They hit the bed with full force, Ritsuka arching his neck with an illustrious cry as Soubi's lips immediately went to it. His hips, as of their own free will, ground into Soubi's, painfully.

It was all Soubi could do to pull the boy's pants down halfway and and position himself, his body quivering.

"Ritsuka." It was the same warning, although shaky and weak, that he always gave. The last thing he wanted to do was to hurt Ritsuka.

"Nn..." Ritsuka moaned, wanting Soubi inside of him more than life itself at the moment. Soubi rocked forward, slamming inside with a gentle brutality. His breath came in a sharp cry at the heat.

Ritsuka's body went numb. He no longer felt nor saw nor heard, but could hear Soubi's grunts from far away, as though they were going to a careless, unknown rhythm with his thrusts. He raised a leaden arm, his fingers sliding through Soubi's long, tangled hair. At the touch, he was suddenly aware again. Aware of sights and sounds. Aware of pain.

And pain was ripping through him as he felt Soubi plunging deeper inside of him.

He cried out shamelessly, his voice rising as Soubi pounded harder and harder, almost more than Ritsuka could bear. He wanted to tell Soubi to stop... to tell Soubi that he was hurting him... but he couldn't. He only wanted more. More of Soubi, more of what they were doing, more of everything.

"Fas...ter..." his voice rasped weakly, surprising even him. Soubi let out a sharp, quick moan in response, and Ritsuka felt it: he didn't know what it was, but it made him scream out in pleasure every time Soubi hit it. He was screaming now, his body arching as Soubi shuddered, and it was over. He felt warmth spreading over his legs and chest, and then Soubi's deft hands cleaning him with the blanket. Soubi was always quick to care for him, no matter what. Ritsuka lay back contentedly, his mind in the familiar lustful haze.

"Ritsuka..." Soubi's voice was loud in his ear.

"Sou... Sou..."

"Shh, Ritsuka, don't speak..." Soubi was quiet now, holding a cool finger to Ritsuka's lips. Ritsuka's glazed eyes struggled to see him, and he smiled when he made out Soubi's flushed and sweaty face.

"I... love you... Soubi..."

"Ritsuka... I love you." He pulled Ritsuka into his arms, sighing at the feel of his skin touching the boy's. He looked out the window, where dusk was just beginning to fall.

"Ritsuka... the sunset..."

Ritsuka lifted his head slowly to stare past Soubi's turned head to look out the window. They both stared at the receding sunset, and Ritsuka squeezed Soubi's hand.

"It's beautiful."

He snuggled back down onto Soubi's chest, licking the man's neck as he went. Soubi nipped his ear playfully, and Ritsuka instantly came back up for a kiss. Soubi pinned him down, shoving his tongue forcefully into Ritsuka's mouth. Ritsuka squirmed beneath him, feeling flustered from their making out.

"Soubi..." he said as the man pulled away, but remained over him, smiling. "Is this... wrong?"

Something in his tone made Soubi frown and slide off, cuddling back to Ritsuka's side.

"Why... do you feel wrong?"

"No... it's just... well... I'm too young to have sex."

"Is that so?"

"Yes... and with a man, too."

"There's nothing wrong with that. Not as long as I love you."

"I know." Ritsuka sighed. "I'm just saying. I feel dirty."

"You're not." Soubi stroked his face again, brushing untidy, tousled hair out of the way with a gentle smile. Ritsuka breathed deeply, inhaling the scent of Soubi. Soubi's azure eyes glittered as he stared into the indigo of Ritsuka's.

"I love you. Ritsuka."

"Mhm..." Ritsuka only wanted to be close to Soubi. He dug his fingers lightly into the man's chest, hearing him moan softly.

"Why do you love me, Soubi?"

Ritsuka was pensive but curious, Soubi could hear it in his voice. He wiped a bead of sweat from his face, and turned to face Ritsuka.

"I don't know. I just love you."

"But... Soubi... my ears... I should have kept them... I should have..."

"Maybe."

"What would Seimei think?" Ritsuka said, suddenly ashamed, hiding his face in the crook of Soubi's arm, as though Seimei could somehow see him. "He still had _his_ ears..."

"That was Seimei's choice."

"I know. I don't regret giving them to you one bit. But why do I feel this way?"

"Hmm?"

"Soubi... why do I want it so badly?" It was almost as though Ritsuka was questioning himself.

"What do you mean?"

"It's like we're different people when we..." he blushed and went on. "My body takes over and I don't think right... I just don't want anything but you..."

"That's just how it is. Lust is a strong thing, it overrides rational thought."

"Lust?"

Soubi smiled again. "Yes."

"I... I feel something I can't explain..."

"Is it heat?" Soubi spoke in a whisper, kissing the smooth lips in front of him again. "Heat that spreads through your entire body?"

"Yes... it is."

Soubi hugged him tightly. "You're learn yet, Ritsuka."

"Learn what?"

"It's not something I can say. But you'll know soon enough."

"Soubi?"

"Hmm?" Soubi squeezed him again, feeling the bones pop in his back.

"What does it... feel like?"

"Being inside?"

Ritsuka blushed crimson again. Damn that Soubi and his bluntness.

"Um... yeah..."

"You really want to know?" His eyes and his voice held a challenge.

"Soubi!" Ritsuka slid from his arms and sat up, and Soubi crawled to him on his knees, his lips searing a hot trail over the young neck. Ritsuka eyes burned in the darkness, and his hands gripped the blanket draped over his lap. His body was tingling again, and he felt it... that desire to have Soubi within him. And then he remembered that he wanted to know what it was like, too.

"Soubi..." he inclined his head, their lips meeting again, their tongues clashing in an intricate dance. His right hand came up over his left shoulder to cradle Soubi's face, bringing their kiss even closer.

"You're breathing so hard," Soubi murmured. "What's the matter?"

"Am I going to... do what you do?"

"You mean..." Soubi pulled away from Ritsuka, looking him in the eye, and suddenly everything fell into place. He was a man... and Ritsuka was only a boy. The enormity of that realization was overwhelming. He hadn't seen it, not in all this time. He was an _adult_... Ritsuka was a _child_. But Ritsuka was taking over. He wanted to dominate. And Soubi wanted to be dominated.

That's what he'd wanted all along.

"Ritsuka... dominate me."

**T.B.C...**

* * *

**So, perhaps that delved a bit into their relationship. Soubi's finally understanding that he's a pedophile. Lol. Just kidding.**

**More coming soon! Pretty soon, actually. I'm interested to see where this will go myself.**


	7. To Be Dominated

**Disclaimer: Loveless not mine. A duh. I also don't own McDonald's.**

**This chapter is dedicated to _Killer Fox_ and _Master Lady_.**

**Expect a little bit of boi smex (as my friend calls it) for this chapter. It happens, but I'm not going into details. And yes, Ritsuka's seme.**

**-winks and hears the resounding ZOMG's-**

**I took the whole uke and seme thing into careful consideration when planning this story out. It's very obvious who would be the seme, simply because Soubi's older and stronger. And Ritsuka's just too uke-ish. But there's also Soubi's plain desire to be dominated and governed.**

**This chapter really is a big relief for me. Everyone seems to think that I've forgotten all about Ritsuka's classmates and friends, but I left them out with no mention for a reason. I purposely left Ritsuka alone with Soubi for so long so he could realize what the real world is like again. It makes it a bit better, I guess.**

**And let's take a vote: should he still run away?**

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Ritsuka stared at Soubi's nude body sprawled in front of him, a blush starting on his pale cheeks.

"What?"

"Dominate me." Soubi turned his head to the side, exposing his neck. A sort of knowing settled into Ritsuka's eyes, and he looked back down at his hands crossed in his cloth-covered lap.

"Soubi... should we?"

Soubi didn't answer.

"I mean..." Ritsuka continued to the darkness. "We just did... but you want me to... and..."

He realized how he sounded. He sounded confused, not scared. He wasn't scared. He could do this. He could do it... and he would. He turned back to Soubi.

"You want me to?"

Soubi heard it before he saw the look on Ritsuka's face. It was a boldness that hadn't been there before.

"I do."

Ritsuka smiled. He felt so different, so much older. If they were going to do this; be together, then they were going to do it right. And Ritsuka was going to stop being scared.

He crawled to Soubi, and before he could stop himself, he was feeling anxious; nervous.

"Soubi..." he said, looking down again at Soubi's exposed body. "I... don't know what to do..."

"I'll show you," Soubi whispered huskily, taking Ritsuka's hand. He moaned at the feel of Ritsuka's fingers against him, and inside him, and he couldn't breathe as the boy finally positioned himself above his body.

And for the first time, Aoyagi Ritsuka made Agatsuma Soubi scream.

XXX

Ritsuka looked one last time at the fake ears left on Soubi's bed, and stepped out the door with the man at his side.

"Are you sure, Ritsuka?"

"Yes." Ritsuka's eyes held that same set look. He was no longer a child. He wasn't like everyone else. He wanted to feel older. He wanted to do what he did with Soubi. And that's all that mattered.

"But... how will they... what will they think?"

"It doesn't matter." Ritsuka said. "I don't have my ears, and they know it."

He was going to talk to Yuiko and Yayoi. There was no point in pretending he hadn't lost his ears by wearing fake ones. They already knew. And he didn't want to pretend.

"You aren't worried?"

"No." Ritsuka turned to Soubi, smiling. "I love you."

"Heh." Soubi smirked. "That's my line."

Ritsuka stopped at the school grounds, peerinf around a corner wall, watching the children walking into the building, happily chattering. He spotted Yuiko walking, her tail wagging behind her, Yayoi dutifully tagging along with her.

"You're going to talk to them?"

"Yes."

"To... tell them goodbye?" Soubi asked nonchalantly. He didn't know whether Ritsuka had changed his mind about running away.

"In a sense," Ritsuka sid softly. "I'm already leaving everything normal behind anyway..." he smiled coyly up at Soubi. "Just by being with you."

That earned him a shove against the wall and a passionate kiss.

"C'mon, Soubi," Ritsuka said, pushing him away lightly, licking his lips seductively. "We need to go."

He turned the corner, Soubi at his side.

"Yuiko!"

He watched as both Yuiko and Yayoi turned to them, the smiles dropping from their faces. Ritsuka heaved a sigh, and continued making his way toward them. Yuiko blushed, averting her eyes that would surely otherwise make their way to his earless head. Yayoi smiled apprehensively at Ritsuka, mumbling a "hello".

"Yuiko..." Ritsuka said, smiling warmly at her. "We need to talk."

"W-What about, Ritsuka-kun?"

"Well..." Ritsuka said, seeing Soubi and Yayoi shaking hands from the corner of his eye. "I know you're upset with me."

"No, Ritsuka-kun, not at all! I..." she blushed again. "I was just surprised."

Soubi looked at Ritsuka, his eyes burning. Yayoi looked back and forth at both of them, suddenly understanding. He dropped Soubi's hand, as if afraid to think where it had been. Soubi cast him a quick glance, and looked back at Ritsuka. He caught Yuiko's eye, and she blushed, dropping her gaze.

"I might be gone for a while." Ritsuka looked at Yayoi. "You take care of Yuiko."

Yayoi looked up at him, eyes wide. Ritsuka fought back a smirk.

"I know you will."

He turned to leave. "You better go. School's gonna start soon."

"Ritsuka-kun!' Yuiko cried, grabbing his arm. "Where are you going?"

"You're not coming into school?" Yayoi asked him.

"No." Ritsuka replied. "I... need to think for a while. I need to be with Soubi."

Soubi straightened up at the mention of his name. Ritsuka squeezed his hand. The school bell tolled.

"Go on," Ritsuka said, accepting Yuiko as she threw herself on him frantically. His eyes met Yayoi's, and he nodded. Yuiko stepped back and Ritsuka watched the two of them walk into the school building.

"Let's go, Soubi."

"Where?"

"To McDonald's! I'm hungry!"

Soubi stared in awe at Ritsuka's genuine smile. He'd figure that boy out, yet.

**T.B.C...**

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**Yes, there will be more interaction with Yuiko and Yayoi in future. But as for now... I'm completely out of ideas for what should happen next.**

**I'm open to all suggestions! I still wanna know whether he should try running away or not!**


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